I was going down the rabbit hole of the internet, and I came accross this post, which I thought was lovely. And then I thought ‘poor imitation is what the internet is ABOUT’. So here is my, not as good, version.
Has a wardrobe half filled with ‘office drag’: pencil skirts and tailored shirts, heels. Is always wearing jeans and flats to work by Friday. Owns lots of jewellery, rarely wears any.
Second drawer in office filing cabinet contains, at any given time: hand cream, sunblock, nueorofen, ipod cord, cough lollies, sanitary pads (same ones for 12 months) a spare mug.
Has piles of books to read. Has piles of books half read, then forgotten, mostly trendy social histories, filtered through economics. Has lots of DVDs but no television.
Increasingly hates eating breakfast. Cannot stomach solid food for at least a half an hour after waking up. Requires shower to gain consciousness.
Used to have policy of emptying entire coin section of purse when asked for money on the street. Now there is usually more than ten dollars of coins in there. Considers this a sign of great wealth.
Hates wearing shoes. Will go barefoot at any chance. Needs to sweep the floor more.
Sometimes stops abruptly and stand like a goon looking at light reflecting off of trees. Is incapable of reading a sentence without proofreading it. It’s, its.
Has blue hair. Vacillates daily between thinking it is the coolest thing ever and having ennui about it. Blue hair? How Jejune… Can’t think of anywhere she’d really like to travel. Rather, would like to travel in general, no particular preference.
Visual learner. Too much noise quickly becomes overstimulating. Strong smells, also. Public transport is increasingly a nightmare.
Perversely, misses smells. The West is very clean and un-smelly. In China, there was always something to smell, good or bad.
Cannot touch type in the true sense of the phrase. Blames Mister Davies for this. Still sleeps with her head propped on hand, fingers framing eyes, as shown in baby photos.
Craftastrophies 
I like this. An EXTRAORDINARY amount. You’re a brilliant writer Kate.